Category: Personal Foundation (BJ8)
Originally Submitted on 8/28/96.

Standards are what you do for yourself or behaviors to which you willingly adhere. To live without standards is to place yourself at the whims of chance, others, and the world. Here are ten areas in which it is useful to have standards, along with some suggestions as to how to get started.

1. Honesty.

Being honest with yourself and others is a source of power. Being honest means that no one can call your bluff. In setting a standard of honesty, ask yourself: "When do I tell the truth, the whole truth? When I do remain silent? Under what conditions is it appropriate to tell another person only what I know he/she is ready to accept?"

2. Integrity.

Integrity is living a value-based life. Integrity is broader and more inclusive than honesty. To gauge your standard of integrity, ask yourself: "What is my 'bottom line'--the bedrock standard that covers what I will do or not do irrespective of external pressures?" Integrity is the basis of authentic being and true friendship.

3. Power.

Power enables you to act, to maintain your integrity and honesty, and to enforce your standards. Ask yourself: "What is the source of my power? Is my power derived from within (self-referral) or from outside (object-referral)?" The closer you are able to move towards self-referral, the more reliable your power will be.

4. Commitment.

Your commitment is a measure of your dedication to what you do and believe in. Only full commitment offers a promise of excellence. To commit only partially is to invite mediocrity. Ask yourself, with respect to each aspect of your life, work and play: "What is my level of commitment? What am I willing to commit to 100%?"

5. Acceptance.

Acceptance and approval are different. To approve (or disapprove) is to judge. To accept is to recognize and acknowledge what IS. Acceptance eliminates the need to judge and quiets the mind. Ask yourself: "Am I willing to accept (not approve) others, situations, life, etc. as they are or it is? What am I not willing to accept?" It's interesting to note that accepting a situation "as is" does not forfeit your right to change it.

6. Tolerance.

Tolerance has both negative and positive connotations. On the one hand is the question of what we are willing to 'put up with' in life; on the other, are issues pertaining to what we are willing to forgive. Both are important. Ask yourself: "What am I tolerating that limits my growth or happiness? What am I 'allowing' that aids my own or others' growth or healing?"

7. Pace.

Horses and marathoners have pace--a rhythmic style that makes trotting and running seem easy. Pace is measured relaxed action. Many of us lack pace in our lives. For each endeavor in which you are engaged, ask yourself: "What is the pace at which I feel completely comfortable? Am I willing to adhere to it despite pressures to the contrary?"

8. Reserve.

Reserve is a margin, the gas in the tank or the cushion in the account. To have reserve is to be freed from the demands of circumstance or crisis. There are ten areas of reserve. Ask yourself: "What are my reserves of time, space, money, energy, opportunity, love, information, wisdom, self, and integrity?"

9. Fitness.

Fitness is physical, mental, and spiritual. To be "fit" is to be more than prepared to deal with what comes at you. Fitness is a process whereby we create reserves of energy. Ask yourself: "What are my standards for physical (aerobic & muscular), mental (intellectual & emotional), and spiritual fitness?" What is the minimum level of performance in each of these areas that I am willing to accept?"

10. Communication/Relationships

While the journey into and beyond this life is a solo one, we live in concert with others. The standards we maintain with respect to how we communicate and what is the basis of our relationships are critical in determining the success with which we negotiate this journey. Ask yourself: "What is my basis for communicating with others? Am I direct, indirect, or a combination of the two? On what are my relationships based (need, mutuality, giving)? What am I willing to give to others? What do I expect to receive in return?" ... These ten areas are illustrative rather than inclusive. The areas you select and the standards you set for yourself must be appropriate for you. If you need additional help in this regard, you may want to obtain a copy of, or enroll in, Coach University's Personal Foundation course. Also, you may want to consider taking the course under the guidance of a skilled coach.

About the Submitter

The original source is: Written by Shale Paul, Executive Coach. Copyright 1996, Coach University. May be reproduced or transmitted if done so in its entirety, including this copyright line.

Copyright 1997, 98, 99, Coach University  http://www.coachu.com/

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