1. Recognize that growth continues, despite
our best efforts to thwart it. There's a saying: God's time and mortals' time
differ. Nowhere is that more true than in the area of personal growth. Growth
can be likened to fermentation; it often occurs well below the surface and
appears dormant for long periods. Still, much is going on, if only we have
the good sense to realize it. And, there ARE things we can do to break through
the surface layers...
2. Engage in the process; give up attachment
to the result. We live in a results-oriented world. That's both good and bad.
In the short term, it enables us to get more done faster. In the long term,
however, it conceals a great life truth: ultimately, ALL is process, and as
we engage in the process and relinquish our obsession with results, the results
occur spontaneously, easily. To be involved fully in the process is to be
fully in the present.
3. Work on one thing at a time. High achievers
and type A's pride themselves on their ability to keep several balls in the
air at one time. For many, it works, but there is a price. Multi-tasking,
as it's come called, splits your focus, reduces the energy devoted to any
single task and--when the balls mysteriously begin to get out of control--leaves
the serious multi-tasker at a loss for words or acts. But to work on one thing
at a time is tantamount to enjoying the beauty of a single rose, savoring
the clean clear taste of cold spring water, and feeling the exhilaration of
a new day. Single tasking gets the body and the mind going again, inspires
and invigorates.
4. Stop thinking, writing and speaking in
the first person. Here's a fun exercise. It's called, an I inventory and it
goes like this. Review our correspondence file, the letters you've written,
and note how often you begin a sentence with, I. Then, pay attention to your
conversations with others. How often do you use that word, I? If you journal,
take a yellow (better yet, red) marker and overline every single I. All of
these are good measures of your reoccupation with yourself. Try taking a vacation
from the word, I. You may find it both refreshing and stimulating.
5. Realize that it can take great effort
to achieve a state of effortless achievement. Sounds like double talk, doesn't
it! But it's true. In order to achieve effortlessly, which is a measure of
alignment, you must get beyond concepts that serve as comfort zones e.g.,
self-importance, personal attachment, and even enlightenment. With respect
to enlightenment, it's not so much a state to be achieved as one to be recognized.
If you're having trouble with this one, think of Jesus's words: Before Abraham
was, I am(The Bible, John 8:58).
6. Look for the lesson in pain. This is not
a plea for a life of self sacrifice, or an argument that pain is necessary
and good. It's just that sometimes, pain IS. Stopping, taking time to examine
what's really going on in the present state of pain, prevents this all too
common emotion from developing into anger, resentment and resignation. Looking
at pain dispassionately, openly, allows you to learn the lesson and move ahead.
7. Let go of your need to have an opinion.
When things go wrong, friends offend, and our progress seems to be grinding
to a halt, it's natural to have an opinion, to explain, justify and defend.
Natural, yes; understandable, yes; but productive? No! To give up the need
to have an opinion in such instances is to free the mind to receive answers.
8. Walk away from it. Years ago, I was going
through a rough time, but was determined to stick with it until I won out.
A friend who sensed my frustration asked if I would tell her about it. With
some hesitation, I told her of the problem, the struggles, and the seeming
lack of progress. She listened patiently and, after I finished, hesitated
a moment, and then said something I'll never forget: "You know, sometimes
wisdom is knowing when to walk away from it." So, when IS it time to walk
away? From a distance of some years now, I would say it's when the course
you are "stubbornly" pursuing is not producing results and you have no real
feeling that it will!
9. Follow your path rather than your plan.
The distinction relates to specificity. Paths are often winding, indistinct
and surprising in where they lead. Plans are clear, definite, and designed
to eliminate uncertainty. To follow a path is to be open to discovery, to
the sudden turns that yield joy, insight and challenge. But, to really follow
a path requires courage and a willingness to give up certainty. To follow
a path is to go forward when you can see only a single step ahead, confident
that the next step will appear.
10. HEAR what is being said. Have you ever
had a friend offer you some unwelcome advice and preface it with, "You're
not going to want to hear this, but ..." Well, often when new information
comes to us that conflicts with what we know, believe, think, or want, we
DON'T hear it. Even while we're "listening", we're preparing our replies,
defenses and rebuttals. In short, we're blocking our chance to learn. To "hear",
as opposed to simply listening, is to withhold judgment, to go beyond the
actual words, and to really be open to the possible lesson that may be lurking
just beneath the surface. the difference between listening and hearing is
that, somewhere in between, there's a filter, and it's usually our resistance
to new and sometimes conflicting information.
