Have you ever played the "One-Up-Man-Ship" Game—you know, the game where someone tells you about their experience and you tell them something you did that was better? For example, a friend may come back from Europe eager to share the marvelous time she had. You, in turn, "one-up," her by telling her about the trip you had which was even more extensive and wonderful than hers.

Recall for a moment a time you shared something very significant to you and then had to hear someone else tell you how what they did was better. What did you experience? Were you angry at being "one-upped?" Were you frustrated for not being heard? Did you end up feeling like what you did wasn't quite "good enough?"

As your own experience probably demonstrates, the cost of playing "one-up" is extremely high. First, the moment you begin playing "One-Up," you immediately put yourself in a "no-win" position. If you "one-up" someone else, you create more distance in your relationship. Second, even though you may "best" another, you can never truly win the game since there is always someone who is richer, more attractive, and or better at what they do than you are. Third, in almost every case, the need to "better someone else" arises from a need to actually feel better about self.

Interested in ending the damaging effects of "one-up?" If so, try these three simple strategies.

• The next time you feel the urge to "one-up" another with your own story, acknowledge the person's experience. If you absolutely must make a comment about your experience, make it something simple like, "I really enjoyed that too."

• When you're on the "receiving end of one-up," simply remind yourself this person doesn't feel very good about themselves and that's why they're playing the game in the first place.

• The best strategy for "winning at one-up," is simply not to play.

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