Take a moment to recall a time when you were very happy. What was it like? What were the circumstances surrounding your happiness? Was it something that was long lasting or was it a fleeting event? Now consider a time when you felt joy. Was it different from happiness and if so, how?

Joy and happiness are often used interchangeably. In actuality, they are quite different. Happiness occurs when we experience mental state of "well-being." For example, when we talk about "happy times," our happiness is tied to a specific memory or thought. Happiness is also tied to physical events. When people ask "What will make you happy," the answer is usually some sort of physical event such as finishing college, getting married, or winning the lottery.

Joy, in contrast, occurs in our hearts rather than our heads. Joy is a feeling. Like happiness, joy can be triggered by an event, but it is an emotional response to the event rather than a thought or reaction. What can you do to increase the joy in your life?

1. Begin by working with your belief system. When we believe we will find joy in life, that's generally what we encounter. If we believe life is filled with struggle and unhappiness, that's what generally shows up. Psychologists call this "self-fulfilling prophecy." What we expect to happen, will happen.

2. Joy is a "natural" state of being. Psychologists have identified three primary emotions present at birth: joy, anger, and surprise. Recognize you were "programmed" to be joyful at birth.

3. Choose joy. Like any other emotional response, we can choose how we react to life's events. While it's not always possible to be happy, i.e. experience a sense of well-being, we can choose to focus our emotions on the simple joys that are present in each of our lives, e.g. family, good health, a beautiful, sunny day, etc. Finding "joy" in life's events can be a difficult challenge, but is well worth the effort. Two major benefits of choosing joy over anger or unhappiness include strengthened immune response and increased longevity.

Coaching Tips from our Teleclasses:

When have you experienced joy in your life?

• One of my favorite joyful experiences was watching my little granddaughter blowing bubbles on a beautiful, sunny spring day.

• This seems contradictory, but when my mother died, we were all very sad, but there was also a quiet joy in the room—joy that her suffering was over, joy that she had "gone home" to be with my dad.

• I've never experienced a greater joy than at the moment my son was born and the doctor gave him to me to hold for the very first time.

• For me, joy is about my connection to God. It's with me always, whether I'm happy or sad.

• "Joy" is what I experience in my marriage. Regardless of what we're doing, whether it's having fun or having a disagreement, underneath it all is the simple joy of sharing our lives together.

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